Deleting Friends, vis a vis Friendness

The Whopper defriending escapade gains new life with a fluffy piece on nytimes, with some choice quotes (oh, the cattiness!):

Those were the excuses that Ehren S., a former co-worker of mine who apparently unfriended me sometime this past spring, offered up recently for giving me the digital heave-ho.

“I believe it was based on a passive-aggressive update of yours to which I sighed, kinda shook my head and pressed ‘delete from friends,’ ” she confessed by e-mail. “I find negativity a bit tiresome and don’t have the patience for it.”

Fine. Though forgive me for pointing out that Ehren, who asked that I not use her full name, initially tried to fib her way out of the awkwardness by saying she did it for a Whopper.

Feelings still a little raw, Mr. Times Reporter Man?

Not all defriendings are equal:

On Facebook, as in life, no unfriending is as fraught with pitfalls as the one you really mean. Rachel Heavers, a stay-at-home mother in Arlington, Va., found that out when she angrily deleted a lifelong pal, “Marie,” in Decemberduring what she described as “a hormonal moment.”

“Our first kids were born two months apart, and we are both pregnant with our second, which are due three days apart,” she said.

The two had a falling out in December after Marie (her middle name) insisted that Mrs. Heavers’s daughter had swallowed one of her earrings (she hadn’t). The friends wound up arguing in the emergency room, and later agreed to take a break from each other.

Mrs. Heavers soon tired of seeing Marie on Facebook. During an emotional late-night moment, she clicked the “remove” button, expecting never to speak to Marie again.

“Now I really, really regret it,” said Mrs. Heavers, who is starting to reconcile with Marie but afraid to send out a new friendship invitation to her on Facebook: “I’m not sure if she’s even noticed yet that I’ve unfriended her.”

After being written about in the nytimes, I bet she will now!

But it all isn't so simple. Turns out BK was getting all philosophical on us with their advertising.

Mr. Gies explained the marketing team’s thinking about Facebook. “It seemed to us that it quickly evolved from quality of friends to quantity,” he said, “which was interesting to us because it felt like the virtual definition of a friend became something different than the friends that you’d want to hang out with.”

The question of friend qua friend, eh? This is where I throw it to N., so he can get all Nicomachean up in here.

I bet one person is grateful he doesn't have to be notified of desertion:

“I’m still governor for now, and I say you take the afternoon off!” he cheerily told employees, many of them tearful. At another point, hepondered the more practical consequences of losing his job. “I wonder if we’ll have to hitchhike home,” he said. “Maybe we could take the bus.”

In the end, he left the Capitol in Springfield through a secret basement corridor full of grunting, clanking pipes, bare walls and puddles.

[...]

Mr. Blagojevich, who began the morning tracked by news helicopters following his sport utility vehicle’s every turn en route to the airport, said he lately had been trying to remember how to be a regular person.

(Definition of a regular person to Mr. Blagojevich: someone without power.)

Not long ago he made the state troopers who drove him let him take the wheel; he had last driven six years ago. He said he tried to sneak out through a neighbor’s back fence for a jog without his security team, wanting to know what it felt like.

Don't worry, Mr. Blagojevich. You'll be all alone with your precious hairbrush soon enough:

And yet, Mr. Blagojevich, 52, rarely turns up for work at his official state office in Chicago, former employees say, is unapologetically late to almost everything, and can treat employees with disdain, cursing and erupting in fury for failings as mundane as neglecting to have at hand at all times his preferred black Paul Mitchell hairbrush. He calls the brush “the football,” an allusion to the “nuclear football,” or the bomb codes never to be out of reach of a president.

Thankfully, though, he doesn't have to suffer the indignity of being told he has been defriended for a Whopper.

Iraq v. Old timey media

When there's no news, make something out of nothing.

Or rather, throw out Western standards without bothering to contextualize the situation. Hey, it worked for the Bush administration in transplating the American democratic model to Iraq... oh, wait a minute...

The nytimes presents an article about how Maliki's government is pledging to fulfill a demand of the powerful journalism union in Iraq: give the journalists land. In terms of column inches, the issue is balanced, but not in the presentation.

The headline sets the situation up as a conflict: For Iraqi journalists, Free Press v. Free Land.

Not so. The article freely discusses the dangers of working as a journalist, the minimal compensation, and the history of the profession under Hussein. One outspoken opponent overstates his case a bit:

Ziad al-Ajili, the manager of a Baghdad-based advocacy group, Journalistic Freedoms Observatory, said of the land giveaway: “I would not take it even if I have to live in a tent. As soon as you do, it will be the end of Iraq’s independent journalism.”

He acknowledges the difficulties Iraqi journalists face; his organization keeps a tally of arrests, killings and beatings of journalists, as well as government violations of press freedoms. But the best way to address these problems, he said, is through more journalism, not government handouts.

“They’re not thinking about the future,” he said of his colleagues. “If they think about the future as independent journalists, we can do lots of things.”

In the list of things to think about, involving the future for a target of murder in a warzone, I would put survival near the top of my list. Say, food--oh yes, and shelter. As in land.

Ex post Gitmo

Read all those books about the horrors Gitmo? Me neither. But the hand-wringing over Gitmo is already in full force (maybe torture isn't so bad after all...):

By prodding the nation’s conscience, these books, and many, many newspaper and magazine stories as well, have been in the finest tradition of American journalism. And yet, oddly, for the most part they weren’t wholly satisfying. They tended to be long on reporting, short on analysis. They relied on an implicit agreement between writer and reader that the rights and wrongs of Guantánamo were clear, so that all readers needed were the facts the writers offered. The horrors spoke for themselves.

OMG right? No, JK!

But did they? What if the Bush administration provided brutal and clumsy answers to questions that still needed to be resolved? What if Gitmo’s closing is merely symbolic, not a policy but a temporary substitute for a policy?

The nytimes blog post goes on to bemoan all the complications of releasing the prisoners... Wait a minute, let's go back to the source (I think I'll go with Ross Douthat on this one: “the Bush administration’s broader record on detainee policy looks like a moral fiasco." To put it MILDLY.)

Give them a chance, please. A month or two, perhaps, as the Adminsitration confronts myriad, intertwining issues. Then, by all means, light up the torches. Until then.

Success!!

Take THAT Republican pundits!

Recall the greatest fear of right-wing commentators: the election of Barack Obama meant that comedians like Jon Stewart were out of a job. After all, how can you be funny when your best friend is president?

BY TURNING BARACK OBAMA INTO A COMIC-BOOK NERD


Perfect. Thank you, the Onion.

William Kristol, in memoriam

Is there nothing more infuriating than Kristol's weekly "column"? Certainly during the election-cycle, with his smug assuredness of McCain's victory... he did as much as Sarah Palin in solidifying support for the Obama campaign, including small financial contributions from the liberal urban elite volvo driving-by soy lattes NPR listening crowd.

Thankfully, he's dead. By which I mean, removed from my life. Thank you thank you thank you. There is something to be said for challenging entrenched views, but this man is simply an idiot.

In The New Yorker, George Packer wrote that Mr. Kristol “didn’t take his column seriously,” and that he frequently made predictions and statements that were proved wrong.

In November, Mr. Kristol told Portfolio.com, “I’m ambivalent” about the prospect of continuing to write the Times column. “It’s been fun,” he said, adding, “It’s a lot of work.”

An entire 500 words, every week?? That's only seven days to think up, consider, brainstorm, research, write, and then flesh out a little more than a page, single-spaced. How did he over do it?

Skip all of the steps before and after "write."

Ghaza: El-Harb El-Majnouna

The AP reports:

Special legal teams will defend Israeli soldiers against potential war crimes charges stemming from civilian deaths in the Gaza Strip, the prime minister said Sunday, promising the country would ''fully back'' those who fought in the three-week offensive.

The move reflected growing concerns by Israel that officers could be subject to international prosecution, despite the army's claims that Hamas militants caused the civilian casualties by staging attacks from residential areas.

Israelis, killed: 13
Palestinians, killed: 1,285.

Israeli civilians, killed: 3
Palestinian civilians, killed: 600-700

Regardless of provocation, there is something fundamentally wrong about Israeli calculations here. That's not a typo; that's 100 Palestinians killed (many of them militants, uniformed or not) for every Israeli.

But that's also nearly 250 Palestinian civilians killed for every Israeli civilian.

The Israelis have called the war "baal habayit hishtageya," or the boss has lost in. A very business-like metaphor; meaning, Israel wants to be seen as a madman who cannot be controlled.

In Arabic, the prime minister of Hamas has referred to the conflict as الحرب المجنونة "el-harb el-majnouna," the crazy war.

International criticism has also focused on the shelling of UN buildings and schools serving as shelters, and the use of white phosporous as a weapon--an intense inciderary used for lighting, that burns like napalm.

Clearly, Hamas invited this, perhaps consciously, first by provoking Israel with (ineffectual though terrifying) rocket attacks on civilians, then by firing and retreating into civilian-populated areas.

But it is in no one's interest to fire upon civilians, except Hamas's, who retains a "firm group on power" according to yesterday's WaPo. Hamas has merely gained support, from both Palestinians and other Arabs in the region--and destroyed the legitimacy of their moderate rival Fatah, who looks like an Israeli puppet government right about now.

The crazy war: fighting against your country's own best interests and national security.

Billy Joel: unearned contempt?

Really gives new meaning to the phrase: People who live in Glass Houses shoudn't throw stones.

Slate's Ron Rosenbaum writes, after listening to a multi-CD boxset of the Joel's greatest hits:

I think I've identified the qualities in B.J.'s work that distinguish his badness from other kinds of badness: It exhibits unearned contempt. Both a self-righteous contempt for others and the self-approbation and self-congratulation that is contempt's backside, so to speak. Most frequently a contempt for the supposed phoniness or inauthenticity of other people as opposed to the rock-solid authenticity of our B.J.

He likens the Joel to Holden Caulfield, the phony who condemns phonies and phoniness (and high school idol)... which, following his song-by-song analysis, actually rings quite true. Rosenbaum takes FOREVER to get there, and the rhetorical question answering comes much too late to be of any use to those angered by his criticism. But nevertheless, a fine takedown of an artist that I once detested, yet can now tolerate after years of New York Area Classic Rock Radio.

But his article somehow rubs me the wrong way. Perhaps it's the lack of humor? and the hyperbolic tone of some of the criticism, bordering on preachy screechiness:

He was terrible, he is terrible, he always will be terrible. Anodyne, sappy, superficial, derivative, fraudulently rebellious. Joel's famous song "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me"? Please. It never was rock 'n' roll. Billy Joel's music elevates self-aggrandizing self-pity and contempt for others into its own new and awful genre: "Mock-Rock."

Jeez, relax. He's still not as bad as the Dan. Or is he?

In a just world: and the Oscar goes to...

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor: Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor"

Best Actress: meh... I apparently missed every movie in this category.

Best Supporting Actor: Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder"

(Posthumous Oscar seems unlikely for Heath Ledger... who was that again? Hollywood has the memory of a goldfish. This category goes to show how weak the field was this year.)

Best Supporting Actress: Apparently, women were only in mediocre movies this year, which I avoided. Or, I'm sexist in selecting movies. Either way.

(No, I'll blame Hollywood: where are the good roles for women?)

Best Director: Danny Boyle, "Slumdog Milionaire"

Best Animated Film: WALL-E (by a mile. Or par-sec.)


I'll stop here, though I would like to see "Waltz with Bashir." Otherwise, I've got nothing to say.

How say you?

FTW! Obama comes through.

How awesome is it to be the First Children?

A First Sleepover

On Tuesday night, their first at the White House, the Obama girls had a party of their own.

Malia, 10, and Sasha, 7, had a sleepover party with classmates from Sidwell Friends School. They watched two movies — “High School Musical 3” and “Bolt” — and romped around the house in a scavenger hunt arranged by the White House staff.

Perhaps the highlight? At the end of the hunt, the girls opened a door to find their favorite musical act: the Jonas Brothers. Kevin, Joe and Nick Jonas were waiting inside. Surprise!

THAT much awesome. I'm really enjoying these detail-packed vignettes from the Obama White House.

Meanwhile, former Bush aids grouse about the Inauguration speech. Whine whine whine... They're just mad because they're now unemployed. Karma much?

So the Republican honeymoon is now officially over, with the executive orders prompting the government to close Gitmo and force the CIA to only use the 19 interrogation techniques outlined in the U.S. Army Field manual. McCain would be proud (he tried to do it 3 times).

Anyway, the Dearly Departed screech that torture and illegal detentions kept America save from another 9/11. As the same policies help terrorist organizations recruit and gain support. Also, a couple of huge terrorism magnets called military invasions.

But it would be terribly naive to suggest that reversing these policies necessitates further terrorist attacks... oh, thank you Marc A. Thiessen, former chief speechwriter for Bush, in your WaPo op-ed from today:

"If Obama weakens any of the defenses Bush put in place and terrorists strike our country again, Americans will hold Obama responsible -- and the Democratic Party could find itself unelectable for a generation."

It would be even more terrible, however, if the American people hold Obama responsible for any terrorist attacks in the near future. They would surely be the responsibility of the Bush administration; if not even motivated by the Administration's disastrous policies, than for the simple fact that terrorist plots take time, and would have been hatched and developed on their watch.

Like those work safety numbers: 2,688 days with no terrorist attacks on Bush's watch, and 1,459 until the next inauguration. I hope Bush's counter continues to tick upwards. It's still on him.

Don't worry! It's irony.

Barack Obama is actually the President.

I know you were all afraid that the flubbed oath would cause John McCain to immediately assume the Presidency. Or more likely, Joe the Biden.

The White House spokesman said it was done out of a "abundance of caution."

Irony: a former constitutional law professor and the chief of the highest court in America, in charge with enforcing the constitution, are both unable to carry out the only Constitutionally mandated provision regarding the inauguration.

The First Day

Man, am I jealous of Barack Obama's commute.

Analysis of the first day in office? Let's see if he can keep a promise from a week ago.

Close Gitmo, and make us proud. And also, remove a recruiting tool for terrorist organizations. Win/win, good/good.

Also, it'll probably piss off Cheney, who warns of apocalyptic disaster if Obama diverts even slightly from the anti-terror war. That's a pretty convenient way to pass off blame, if one's own strategies caused more terror than they have prevented--or simply distracted, like placing a huge terror-magnet in the Mesopotamia region.

Cold Dawn

Like Red Dawn, except less fighting football teams and more fighting crowds and crowd control.

(Although I suppose some would call the dawn of That One to be a certain kind of Red Dawn...)

Barack Obama's inauguration: historical, joyful. Also: Awkward (bumbled oath). Frustrating (did I mention the often polite, though occasionally, absurdly inconsiderate fellow citizens sharing a small patch of dust and dirt on the National Mall?). Cold (more HOT CHOCOLATE vendors!). Poorly positioned gateways (perhaps better called chokepoints). Awful sound (unsynced with the videos, often eardrum rattling loud static).

4 miles down, 4 miles up, all on foot. 6 hours of standing.

But for those few moments: walking past the Washington monument in the pre-dawn darkness with friends and family; literally leaning on friends during Mary J. Blige's replayed, Sly Stoned cover of "Lean on Me" from the We Are One spectacle; overheard awkward chitchat between the leaders of the American government; George W. Bush's helicopter flying over the mall, on his way back to Texas.

But above all, to see and feel and hear hope in the cheers of those around you, and in your own voice.

Landing on Water

Unlike one of Neil Young's worst (and most obscure) albums, this wasn't a disaster--click for some incredible pictures of the US Airways crash off Manhattan.

From perhaps the best blog on nytimes, City Room, various accounts of eyewitnesses inside and outside of the plane.

The best one, by far:

Elizabeth McHugh, 64, a mother of three and grandmother of six, was on her way home to Charlotte, N.C., after a visit with a daughter who lives in Matewan, N.J.:

“There wasn’t a problem when we took off. Then there was a big bang.” After the pilot announced the plane would go down, the flight crew was shouting out instructions: feet flat on the floor, heads down and cover your heads. “I prayed and prayed and prayed. Believe me, I prayed.”

“I knew we were going to crash. The question was: how close to the buildings were we going to be. Honestly. I thought we were all going to die.” Before impact, “I kept thinking to myself, “I didn’t get a chance to tell my family I love them.” She’s been flying several times a week for 10 years. “I thought today was that day.”

Her son-in-law, Mark Jameson, works in Hoboken and said he saw the plane outside his window. He immediately thought, “Uh-oh, I bet my mother-in-law’s on that plane.”

Gaza and Obama

The nytimes runs down Obama's options for dealing with Gaza. If he does nothing...

Mr. Obama’s aides ... pointed to statements Mr. Obama made during the campaign, in which he said he supported Israel’s right to defend itself from rocket attacks.

That stance has thus far been interpreted in the Arab world as a tacit assent to the Bush administration’s Middle East policy — the very policy that Mr. Obama criticized during the campaign as too divisive, and which he vowed to change.

So far, pretty bad.

"For Mr. Obama, there are risks in being viewed in the Arab world as Bush 2."

Wow, I guess even the nytimes is losing copyeditors left and right. Who let this through? The sentiment is logical but factually inaccurate (more like Bush 3!)... plus this doesn't really reflect how he's viewed in the Arab world. It doesn't matter who the president is, a perceived bias predates the soon deposed invader of Iraq.

Hmm... so if Obama could (have) represented a clean break, perhaps this was Israel's intent?

Daniel Levy, a former Israeli peace negotiator, argues that by attacking Hamas in Gaza just days before the new administration takes over, Israeli leaders may have calculated that it is best to establish to the world, early and emphatically, that when the chips are down, Mr. Obama — and any American president — will stand by Israel over all others.

“There are some who argue that this forces Obama to side with us,” said Mr. Levy, director of the Prospects for Peace Initiative, a joint project of the New America Foundation and the Century Foundation. “In a way, that’s very brazen, this calculus that he might as well get himself washed in this from the start.”

Yikes.

Europa, Entropa

The Czechs comissioned David Cerny to create a sculpture commemorating their presidency of the EU, symbolizing Europe without borders.

Entitled Entropa, each country is symbolized by whatever first comes to mind when thinking of a country, reflecting stereotypes and reductions.

Mr. Cerny presented the piece as the work of 27 artists, one from each country. But it was all a huge hoax.

After being challenged by reporters this week, Mr. Cerny admitted that he and two of his friends constructed the whole thing themselves, making up the names of artists, giving some of them Web sites and writing pretentious, absurd statements to go with their supposed contributions.

For example, next to the piece for Italy — depicted as a huge soccer field with little soccer players on it — it says, “It appears to be an autoerotic system of sensational spectacle with no climax in sight.”

The fake British entry, a kit of Europe in which the piece representing Britain has been taken out, says, “This improvement of exactness means that its individual selective sieve can cover the so-called objective sieve.”

Click here for a slideshow of the sculpture, including Germany crisscrossed with Autobahns to form... well, you'll see.

Desperation sky-diving

Had enough? Jump out of a plane!

Marcus Schrenker thought he had it all figured out, the authorities say.

Desperate to escape mounting legal, financial and marital problems, the troubled financial adviser hopped in his six-seat plane on Sunday and flew south across Alabama, faked a distress call and then parachuted out moments later, leaving the plane to coast to a crash landing hundreds of miles away. Once on the ground, they said, he made his way to a motorcycle he had stashed over the weekend, paying for incidentals along the way — like a motel room and a storage unit — with cash.

He didn't last too long though (though 3 days ain't bad). But in the words of his own fake-suicide-email, "Hypoxia can cause people to make terrible decisions and I simply put on my parachute and survival gear and bailed out," claiming his window had exploded.

Superior aircraft bailout? D.B. Cooper:

D. B. Cooper is the name attributed to a man who hijacked a Boeing 727 aircraft in the United States on November 24, 1971, received US$200,000 in ransom, and parachuted from the plane. He was never apprehended. The name he used to board the plane was Dan Cooper, but through a later press miscommunication, he became known as "D. B. Cooper". Despite hundreds of leads through the years, no conclusive evidence has surfaced regarding Cooper's true identity or whereabouts, and the bulk of the money has never been recovered. Several theories offer competing explanations of what happened after his famed jump, which the FBI believes he did not survive.

Ah well, perhaps jumping out of airplanes is not the best option.

Energy Conspiracy?!

Gulf Oil States Seeking a Lead in Clean Energy, the nytimes proclaims!

“Abu Dhabi is an oil-exporting country, and we want to become an energy-exporting country, and to do that we need to excel at the newer forms of energy,” said Khaled Awad, a director of Masdar, a futuristic zero-carbon city and a research park that has an affiliation with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, that is rising from the desert on the outskirts of Abu Dhabi.

Hmmm... well I'm pretty sure it's absurdly inefficient to transmit electricity across long distances, but this is a blog after all (fine, here's wikipedia on the subject: "As of 1980, the longest cost-effective distance for electricity was 4,000 miles (7,000 km), although all present transmission lines are considerably shorter.")

So perhaps the Gulf can power Europe? Bet they'd love to bypass Ukraine.

Also, although the gulf states have previously showed little interest in green energy like wind or solar, they have another advantage, Mr. Awad noted as he stood in the shimmering desert. “The sun shines 365 days a year,” he said.

So then why invest absurd amounts of money? Prestige?

Or perhaps when you have so much money, you just need something to spend it on? Renewable energy? Sure, why not.

Anyway, solar should be a boon. Man, what a sun they've got there.

Some Bushisms to remember the part that remains without the -isms

Jacob Weisberg of Slate gives his top 25 Bushisms, most funny, some not so much (25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."—Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008).

My personal favorite?

15. "It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."—Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

I agree! Or do I disagree? No wonder he was elected!

Runner-up:

17. "People say, 'How can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil?' You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

Exactly. Well, that, or invade a Middle Eastern country that had nothing to do with the event that inspired people to ask how to fight against terror.

Or perhaps he just wanted to tell a lonely little shut-in named Saddam Hussein, "I love you."

Joe the Plumber/War Correspondent to the World: No Need for War Correspondents

To be honest with you, I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war [sic]. … You make a big deal about it, it's asinine. I liked back in World War I and World War II, when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for them. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to down soldiers — our American soldiers, our Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from reporting. You know, war’s hell, and if you’re gonna sit there and say ‘Well look at this atrocity’ — well you don’t know the full story behind it half the time. So I think the media should have no business in it.

Joe Wurzelbacher (link to video on nytimes lede blog) is amazed at the "Israel people" -- or "our Israeli soldiers," as he put it -- and their resilience in the face of overwhelming condemnation from the world, for protecting their own.

And me? I'm speechless.

Bright lights, big city

President Bush to the press corps: “When I get out of here, I am getting off the stage,” he said. “I have had my time in the Klieg lights.”

So that's the problem! Not only has Bush believed himself to be a film star, he's become afflicted with actinic conjuctivitis.

"The carbon-arc source was so bright that it allowed film directors to make "day" at night, which also heralded the era of blinding actors—a term coined as "Klieg eye"."

"Symptoms are redness and swelling of the eyes," also known as crying or nostalgia.

No such thing as a free lunch

Even for Barack Obama, and at Ben's Chili Bowl!

Obama declined the standing offer that only he and Bill Cosby eat for free, and paid for his meal, as well as DC Mayor Adrian Fenty's, eating a half-smoke... something that I am much too scared to try myself ("a pork and beef sausage on a steamed hot dog bun, topped with mustard, onions and chili sauce"). Arugula much?



GIVE THE MAN SOME CHEESE!

(Though depressingly neutral when it comes to Maryland-Georgetown basketball rivalry... wait, what rivalry? 75-48, in the Old Spice classic...)

Anyway, the best part comes in the comments from the above nytimes blog post:

“The bill came to $19.15 with taxes, according to prices from Ben’s menu.”

“he paid for his and the mayor’s food with a $20 bill and told the cashier to keep the change.”

$0.75 tip???? If I were “the server, Jermaine Jefferson”, i would refuse to serve this patron should he return. This is what’s known in the trade as a cheap tipper.

A bog-standard 20% tip should have been $3.83.

So much for your personal commitment to helping working Americans Mr. President-Elect.

So much for elementary school math. The tip was 85 cents, "robin #13"

A number of commenters pointed to this issue... failing to note that this was the tip for the cashier at Ben's. There are no servers. Ben's is not a sit-down dinner. It's a take-away diner with seating.

Relax, DC-Haters. We've got bigger things to worry about.

The definition of irony

From an nytimes blog, on why perhaps they should require mothers to have licenses.

And finally, this from Tuesday’s Middletown Journal, in Middletown, Ohio. The day after New Year’s, a family of four — parents and their two young children — entered the local Dollar General Store. As they left an employee noticed that the mother’s purse seemed “noticeably larger than it had been minutes earlier.”

When the employee asked to search the bag the woman ran, dumping stolen contents as she fled. Among those items: wash clothes, small hand towels, a small rug and a book entitled “101 Ways to Be a Great Mom.”

Some solid career advice: Bollywood, Here I Come!

Looking for jobs, college students?

So, good news, all you laid-off American workers: Bollywood is hiring. If Plans B, C, and D don't work out here in the United States, remember, there's a guy in Mumbai who can use you tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that. There are, of course, easier ways to earn what amounts to $10.50 for a day's work. But none of those jobs involves tacky outfits or close proximity to celebrities you've never heard of. And it's hard to imagine another job that ends with a grown man pouring bottled water on your head and sternly instructing, "Just walk normal!" as the camera begins to roll.

Hey! That's a good wage, you may say. But how much more weird stuff can you put up with?

I'd been pegged immediately as "middle-aged business dork" and ended up in a pink striped shirt, a thin black tie, and a tight suit of green and blue fabric that looked like industrial carpeting. I assumed from my outfit—wrongly, as it happens—that the movie was set in the '70s.

The only other Westerner to show up was a 26-year-old from Buenos Aires named Maia, whom they put in a colorful frumpy dress with a big red rose in the middle of the neckline. "I look like a clown!" she shouted. "Why do they want me to look like a clown?"

Quasi, unintentional humiliations aside, you have to feel for Bombay. (Don't say Mumbai and give in to the Hindu fundamentalists. Or do: we say Myanmar now, don't we? Forget all those controversies)

But seriously, it's pretty irrational to not go to Bombay after the attacks. Granted, India suffers from a preponderance of terrorist attacks, but this would probably be the best time to go, judging by the descriptions of security in the Slate article about Bollywood.

A Gaza Hospital

Taghreed El-Khodary, writing for the New York Times from Gaza. I feel compelled to repost in its entirety, rather than just link. No commentary necessary, even possible, on this.

GAZA — The emergency room at Shifa Hospital is never calm but on Thursday, the 13th day of Israel’s assault on Gaza, it was a scene of gore and despair and a lesson in the way ordinary people are squeezed between suicidal fighters and Israel's military.

Dr. Awni al-Jaru, 37, a surgeon at the hospital, rushed in from his home in the Gaza City neighborhood of Toufah, dressed in his scrubs. But he came not to work. His head was bleeding and his daughter’s jaw was broken.

Hamas militants, he said, next to his apartment building had fired mortar and rocket rounds. Israel fired back with enormous power, and his apartment was hit. His wife, Albina, originally from Ukraine, was killed, as was his 1-year-old son.

“My son has been turned into pieces,” he cried. “My wife was cut in half. I had to leave her body at home.” Since Albina was a foreigner, she could have left Gaza in recent days with her children. But, Dr. Jaru lamented, she refused, saying she would not leave her husband.

Within minutes, another car pulled up containing four more patients.

One of them was a 21-year-old man with shrapnel in his left leg demanding quick treatment. He turned out to be a militant with Islamic Jihad. He was smiling a big smile.

“Hurry, I must get back so I can keep fighting,” he told the doctors and anyone else who would listen.

He was told there were more serious cases than his and he needed to wait his turn. But he insisted. “We are fighting the Israelis,” he said. “When we fire we run but they hit back so fast. We run into the houses to get away.” He continued smiling.

“Why are you so happy?” someone asked. “Look around you.”

A girl who was maybe 18 was screaming from pain as a surgeon removed shrapnel from her leg. An elderly man was soaked in blood. A child who was a few weeks old and slightly injured was looking around helplessly. A man with a head injury had parts of his brain coming out. He was on a stretcher and his family was wailing at his side.

“Don’t you see that these people are hurting?” he was asked.

“But I am from the people too,” he said, his smile incandescent. “They lost their loved ones as martyrs. They should be happy. I want to be a martyr too.”

Joe Lieberman, amongst other Benedicts Arnold

Christopher Beam's article today poses the usual rhetorical Slate subheadline question, a mix of whodunnit and political intrigue: "What happened to all of those democrats for McCain?"

The answer? Nothing, basically. Retain political capital, blah blah blah, though if you depended on Democratic party patronage (read: lackeys), then you are pretty much f'ed.

(Although, honestly, who cares who Orson Scott Card endorsed? His books are capital 'K' crazy.)

Far more interesting, at least to me, is what would have happened to all of those democrats for McCain, had McCain won?

The answer? Awesome things (at least for them).

So in the end, really a no-brainer. Unless the "I told you so" is really worth a potentially plum, juicy patronage job.

(Speaking of which, why all fruit metaphors to describe sweet, delicious victory? The fruits of labor, &c.)

Twitter 4

The Twitter odyssey continues, as 33 members accounts were hijacked, including Barack Obama and Britney Spears.

Now, this suggests to me GOP involvment--FURTHER ATTEMPTS TO LINK THE TWO IN CELEBRITY.



Also, Paris Hilton's Sidekick was once hacked.

Coincidence?

I think not.

The Presidential Race is not over yet, apparently, for the McCain campaign

Most Favored Movies of 2008

Just for clarity: I find the whole "best of" thing, as well as the whole numbered list "thing," to be ridiculous.

In case of curiosity, though, some of the movies I have enjoyed from the past year, in order of release.


4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days

Far from a date movie, this haunting, evocative film from the brilliant Romanian director Cristian Mungiu is what great art should be--both provocative and insightful. Heavy though never ponderous, the subject matter is handled with restraint, much like the film’s color palette, wherein occasional bursts of color punctuate the oppressive, industrial surroundings. 4 Months rightly won the Palme d’Or at Cannes for its suspenseful portrait of raw emotion, of real life and the choices and circumstances that constrain us.

The Band's Visit

One of those beautiful little movies, poignant without pretension. And so enjoyable and entertaining, which may be the even harder task. An Egyptian Police band gets lost in Israel, and ends up in a small village, where the countries and cultures and lives can meet, face-to-face.

The Visitor

It’s difficult to explain what makes The Visitor so great without divulging the small surprises and larger revelations that render it both heart-wrenching and joyful. The film intrigues in even the smallest, most intimate details. Take the title: Who is the visitor? Is it the lonely college professor (Richard Jenkins) who belongs neither in his university nor in his empty home? Is it the squatter he discovers in his long-vacant New York City apartment? The Oscar crowd, with its sights perennially set on the films with hallowed December release dates, paid The Visitor scant attention upon its arrival this summer. Not to be missed.

WALL-E

Just a joy to watch. Robots and romance, freedom and flying... You cannot ask for more. Thank you, Pixar!

The Dark Knight

It's hard to say why exactly, but I don't feel as strongly about this movies as when it came out. Even still, solid, solid, solid. And I don't even like superhero movies.

Pineapple Express

Arresting the slide of Apatow Productions comedies with a very modern, very funny, very absurdist stoner film. In fact, I wasn't even sure this genre had any life left in it (or ever?)

Tropic Thunder

Thank you for making me laugh, again. Not perfect, but a remarkable movie, if only for gathering so much celebrity--for the sole purpose of mercilessly mocking Hollywood, and the practices of its celebrities.

Quantum of Solace

Avant-garde James Bond? Yes, please. The Times took umbrage for the revenge driven plotline, but it seems to speak to our times. Messing with the formula a bit, keepin' it fresh. Pierce Brosnan's films grew exponentially less rewarding as the series tried to top itself. Hopefully the reinvention will continue.

Milk

Gus van Sant, Sean Penn = so so much pretension.

But they pull off a moving biopic, though sadly timed. It's tough times, reflecting on the passage of Prop 8, which complicates the message of this movie a bit.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

A beautiful film, especially with the increasingly talented David Fincher at the helm (Fight Club, Se7en, Zodiac), showing he can do something other than dark, ominous tales of death. Although that might partially describe this film, it's more about hope

Slumdog Millionaire

OK, this is out of order, but only because this might be my favorite movie right now (best for last!).

Original and inventive, blending genres and cultures, forging an intense (but also uplifting) drama, this may speak to me and perhaps the wider country better than any other movie right now.

Danny Boyle also has to be one of my favorite directors right now. Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, and the incomparable (and absolutely unknown) Sunshine.

And now this. Thank you!

The best movies of 2008

No, scratch that. It's too easy (or maybe too hard, at least this year) to just run down the best.

Worst movies of 2008.

(Which I actually saw.)

(Weighted by overratedness.)

1) Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Proving once again that it's hard to be funny, when there is no originality to be found. Except for the Count Chocula Rock Opera.

NO! Wait a minute: for a far superior absurd rock opera, see It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Nightman Cometh (full show on Hulu)

2) Sweeney Todd

Gory gory violence with no purpose, and all the singing singing singing... but, why? Who can say, really, except to show that we once lived in gruesome times. Or is it set so far at a remove so we don't question its absurdity, or so we can enjoy grotesque violence?

(P.S. I actually rather enjoyed the singing, and the movie But, please, give it a rest fanguys and gals)

3) 27 Dresses

Oh wait, I didn't actually see this. I just thought I did, because it's identical to every other rom-com ever.

4) Vantage Point

Oh wait, I didn't actually see this either. I just thought I did, because it's identical to every single pointless action movie ever.

5) Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I love Star Wars, but... How far it has fallen. And George Lucas didn't even write it!



IN CONCLUSION:

2008 has not been a good year for movies. But it hasn't been that bad either. 2008 seems pledged to mediocrity, with even the standouts not standing out too far.

But it gives me hope, aside from the economic crisis and havoc for film financing.

And isn't that what movies can do at their best, give hope?


(FOOTNOTE: It's not very fair to label these the worst of the year. They were mostly enjoyable, and set out to do exactly what they then did. Except for Forgetting Sarah Marshall... so disappointing.)

Journalism: Fair(ly) (Un)Balanced

I was watching CNN coverage of the Israeli invasion of Gaza, which really drove home how useless the practiced objectivity of the media can be sometimes.

In one corner, we have the Israeli Ambassador, who feigns regret at civilian casualties while subtly propagandizing, reinforcing the need for invasion and its justness.

In the other corner, we have some crazy statement from a Hamas spokesperson about the end of Israel, or whatever he usually says.

In the middle, we have the anchor, careful not to step on anyone's toes, lest they lose access--or worse, the Ambassador refuses to come back on the program.

Perhaps cliche, perhaps apocryphal, but still a funny notion: no matter how popular or great an initiative may be, the journalist must find the one nut who objects, and puts in their opinion, to give it balance. (Was that in the last season of the Wire?)

Should the news just keep on presenting (or pretending to present) "both sides" of the story, to let us decide? Does this really remove bias? Consider: the presentation of the news and the inherent selection involved--i.e., what is considered news and what is not--which allows significant room for bias.

At what point does purported objectivity become self-defeating?

The Gulf: The opposite of the Green

A Dubai-based resort is seeking to build a climate controlled beach, in which the sand is somehow cooled for the toes of the ultra-rich.

Business as usual it seems. But why should we stop there?

Go ice-skating in Qatar (multiple locations)!

Ski in Dubai!

Obscenely wasteful? Or creative whimsy?